Wedding Tips - Planning Your Wedding

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Wedding Tips - Planning Your Wedding

Tip: Avoid the Bridezilla Trap

Weddings can get stressful -- sometimes more stressful than the marriage itself! Here are some wedding planning tips that can keep you sane:

Don't plan a bigger wedding than you can afford.
The only things you "need" for a wedding are a license, an officiant, two witnesses and someone willing to marry you. Everything else is extra. There is nothing wrong with a wedding that does not have a videographer, or napkins that perfectly match the bridesmaid dresses, or a professional makeup artist. Include only the elements that mean something to both of you.
If you pay for your wedding yourselves, it will be easier to say no to relatives who want to know why you're not inviting those cousins you haven't seen in 10 years or why they weren't asked to go with the bride to help her pick out a dress.
It may feel like you need to take on wedding planning as a second job. When stress starts to pile up, plan an afternoon or evening to get away from it all with your spouse-to-be.
Even if something goes wrong on your wedding day, you'll probably still wind up married at the end to the person you picked out in the first place. If you know you're inclined to be too much of a perfectionist, ask trusted friends and your betrothed to keep tabs on you and talk you down when the doilies turn out to be 8 inches wide instead of 9.

Tip: Breaking Down the Cost of the Wedding

The reception will likely be the biggest drain on your budget. Food and drink for the reception can range from 30 to 50 percent of your total budget. This figure is dependent on how many guests you have. The bride's clothes, photographer, music and flowers typically each eat up about 10 percent of the budget.

All the extras like decorations, a limousine, garter and ring pillow are a smaller part of the total cost. Of course, there are no set rules on what you should spend on a particular wedding item. If a better band at the reception is more important than extra flowers at the church, adjust your budget accordingly.

While the tradition is to have the bride's family pay for the wedding, that rule is being broken more and more. In the past, the groom would pay for the bride’s ring, marriage license, the official’s fee, rehearsal dinner, his wedding clothes, gifts for his groomsmen and ushers, the bride’s bouquet and corsages.

These days, many brides and grooms split the cost of their wedding, so don't feel pressure to divide up the wedding budget based on old rules. Smart adults pay for weddings themselves, which gives them the power to start out their new life together without having to bow to relatives' demands.(It's also great practice for achieving financial goals as a couple -- something you'll have to do for the rest of your lives together.)

Smart adults also don't go into debt for a wedding. If the money isn't there for a formal affair, keep it small and simple, and save up for a great anniversary party later.

Tip: Going Places

One very important thing to remember when planning your wedding is transportation. Even if you manage not to be nervous on your wedding day, you shouldn't have to worry about driving -- this is your day to focus on your beloved.

When booking a limousine, it's important to know how many people will be traveling in the limo and how far they will be traveling. The next thing you need to determine is how long you'll need the limousine for. Does everybody get a ride to the ceremony, then to the reception and then home when it is over?

Consult various different limousine agencies for price quotes and then determine what works best with your budget.

Alternatives to the standard long black limo include Hummer limousines (for maximum fuel consumption!), classic cars or even a horse-drawn carriage.

Tip: Planning a Small Wedding

Contrary to popular belief, your wedding does not have to be a giant production number with expensive bridesmaids' gowns, months of dance lessons and a chocolate fountain for 400. Planning a small wedding can be more fun, giving the wedding couple the freedom to choose elements that are personally meaningful rather than trying to please everyone.

Size matters if you're planning a cheap wedding -- scaling down your wedding can be a great way to save money. Whether the two of you wear a tux and gown, or jeans and a department-store dress, you'll be just as married in the end. Some simple-but-elegant ideas for the smaller wedding:

If you or someone you know has an attractively landscaped garden, consider using this as your wedding locale.
A garden arch can be bought cheaply at your local garden store and decorated with tulle and silk flowers. (And if it rains, you can bring it inside and prop it up with books, then drape the tulle to conceal the props.)
Even if you're getting married at home, consider hiring a caterer -- that way you and your family can concentrate on the ceremony and not on cooking.
If you two really don't want a big ceremony, consider eloping. You'll need to arrange for an officiant and witnesses, but this can be a quick ceremony -- and then you can get on with your vacation! The traditional destination for elopements is Las Vegas, but almost any tourist spot has professionals who can help you arrange for a perfect, private wedding.

Tip: The Right Words

When planning your wedding, there is nothing wrong with taking words from literary geniuses and using them in your vows. Some ideas:

I Corinthians 13:1-13, which ends, "So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
Martin Luther King Jr.: "The meaning of love is not to be confused with some sentimental outpouring. Love is something much more than emotional bosh. An overflowing love which seeks nothing in return, is the love of God operating in the human heart. Love is the most durable power in the world . . . the most potent instrument available in mankind’s quest for peace and security. The great military leaders of the past have gone, and their empires have crumbled and burned to ashes. But the empire of Jesus, built solidly and majestically on the foundation of love, is still growing."
Qu'ran 30:21 "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."
From the Talmud: "Blessed art though, O Lord, King of the Universe, who created mirth and joy, bridegroom and bride, gladness, jubilation, dancing, and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and fellowship. Quickly, O Lord our God, may the sound of mirth and joy be heard in the streets of Judah and Jerusalem, the voice of bridegroom and bride, jubilant voices of bridegrooms from their canopies and youths from the feasts of song. Blessed art though, O Lord, who makes the bridegroom rejoice with the bride."
Indian proverb: “Where love reigns the impossible may be obtained.”
From Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s “The Little Prince”: “Life has taught us that love does not exist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

Tip: Unusual Ideas for Your Wedding

Planning just the right wedding doesn’t have to be hard and it can be just about anything you want. Opt for non-traditional wedding planning ideas and have the limousine drive you to the door of your next adventure:

What about a wedding ceremony in a hot air balloon? While you will have to get up at dawn in order to take the ride, it still gives you plenty of time to start your honeymoon early in the day. Most balloon ride operators offer a variety of wedding services.
Get married in a helicopter flying over the lights of Las Vegas (making the idea of getting married on the ground in Las Vegas so “last year”).
British Airways London Eye – an incredible view of London with romance to boot.
San Francisco Seaplane Tours offers champagne flights with landing and takeoff on the water.
Paris in the…anytime, spring, summer, winter or fall. How about a tour of the City of Lights followed by a helicopter ride and a wedding ceremony?
Grand Canyon romance and you can fly and dine at the Grand Canyon, with amazing views and nature as your witness.
A progressive wedding is when there are a number of receptions and each one takes place in a different location. This is popular when you have your wedding one place, go to the bride’s hometown for a reception then to the groom’s home for yet another reception with his family.
When you hear that someone is having a costume wedding, this means the wedding party will be dressing up wearing theme costumes. In this case it can go from Medieval to Renaissance to western to ethnic to a costume ball.
Dogs have assisted as ring bearers, flower girls and can even stand in as "best dog" or "bridespup."

Tip: Wedding Costs

When you plan your wedding, the biggest worry is usually money. If you have a good idea of how your costs will break down, then you will be better prepared.

Other money-saving tips:

If the bride knows what type of dress she wants, it can be cheaper to buy it on eBay or have a seamstress make it than to go with a designer model.
Many vendors charge top dollar for wedding products. You might find that an "anniversary" cake or flowers for a "party" are somewhat cheaper.
Call on talented friends and relatives to sing, make cakes, officiate, arrange flowers, or do calligraphy on the wedding invitations.
Instead of a dinner reception, hold your reception as a luncheon or tea.
Consider serving only wine, or no alcohol at all.
If a friend or relative has a classic car or convertible, borrow this instead of hiring a limousine.

Tip: Wedding-Day Logistics

Planning a wedding is one of the biggest organizational tasks that many people take on in their lifetimes. A professional wedding planner can keep things on track, but if your budget doesn't allow for this, here are a few things you may want to keep in mind:

Be sure the photographer has clear instructions about any particular shots you want.
If the bride and her party are making a trip to a salon on the morning of the wedding, plan how they're going to get there and back.
Have the bride try on her dress, with shoes and undergarments, the day before the wedding, including standing, walking and sitting, so that any last-minute adjustments can be made.
Have a plan for what to do with gifts that guests bring to the wedding, and how to get the gifts back home afterward.
If you are expecting anyone among your guests who needs extra attention -- whether it's a troublesome toddler, an elderly aunt or a cantankerous sister-in-law -- assign one of your most trusted attendants to keep an eye on that person.
Be extra sure that everyone knows where they need to be and when they need to be there. If the whole wedding party is trooping off to the beach for photos, make sure they (and the photographer) know how to get there.
If you are planning an outdoor wedding, be sure everyone knows what kind of weather to expect, and have a backup plan in case the weather turns sour.
Whenever possible, assign wedding-related chores to friends and family members who want to help, so that you don't spend your own wedding day sweeping up leaves or cleaning wine glasses.

Tip: What Kind of Wedding?

The location of the ceremony helps dictate how formal or informal your wedding will be. Many brides still like the idea of a formal wedding. However, older brides seem more attracted to the comfort and economy of a semi-formal or informal wedding.

Other decisions include whether to have a civil or religious service, and whether to try for an outdoor ceremony or go indoors.

If you want to find good deals, the slowest months to get married are November, December and January. To narrow that down even more, Saturday is the most popular day at around 7:00 p.m. To save money you could also opt for a Sunday wedding that takes place during the day or even a weekday wedding in the evening. Often the time of day does make a big difference. For example, the Jewish faith requires that a wedding be held after sundown on a Saturday or Sunday.

Tip: Your Wedding -- On the Web

Do the details of wedding planning seem overwhelming? An online wedding planner can be a lifesaver, providing reminders of upcoming tasks, notes of decisions already made, and links to helpful suggestions or forums where you can converse with other wedding couples. Because you keep the information online, it's easy to pull together a wedding Web site for your family and friends, or answer the caterer's questions when she calls you at work.

When you send out your wedding invitations, include a link to your wedding Web site, with helpful information like directions, reservation links and registry info, plus fun stuff like engagement photos.

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