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Wedding Tips - Weddng Vows
Tip: Additional Cultural Wedding Vow Options
In addition to the more common religions around the world, many smaller religious sects or groups also have their own religious ceremonies that can often be quite elaborate and include particularly unique wedding vows. Sometimes honoring your family’s heritage is a good reason to take your wedding vows one step further adding a distinctive feature that might only mean something to you.
The Greek Orthodox religion has a different exchanging of the vows in that the couple does not say anything as they exchange rings, walk around the altar and drink from the same cup, they do this all in silence.
In a Shinto Japanese ceremony the couple exchanges the vows while each of their parents face one another in a show of the two families becoming one. The bride and groom also do what is called San-san-kudo, the exchanging of the nuptial cups.
Jumping the broom is a well-known term in African weddings and this is a part of the vow ceremony.
The Celtic tradition is also rich in tradition with vows that are exchanged such as, "I vow to you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine, from this day on it shall be only your name I cry out in the night and into your eyes that I smile each morning…"
Tip: Christian Wedding Vows
There are many different kinds of vows and many different kinds of wedding ceremonies. If you and your spouse are of different religions you might want to come up with a way to incorporate both your religious traditions into your big day. From the Christian and Jewish religions, to Hindu and Buddhist beliefs, and every in between, there is a world of tradition in the spoken wedding vows.
Christians see marriage as a sacred union and with that they believe that two people must stay together through the trials and tribulations that come with life. If you prefer a traditional Christian wedding you can have the minister or wedding officiant find the right words or you can write your own and incorporate them into the ceremony. The most used wedding vows from the Christian religion are from the Episcopal Church’s 1662 Book of Common prayer. Almost everyone has heard it as it goes, "I (bride’s name), take thee (husband’s name) to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish, till death do us part."
Tip: Jewish Wedding Vows
In the Jewish religion, marriage is a very important and sacred union and also considered a directive of sorts. While you will never hear the words “I do,” in a Jewish wedding, there is still a tradition and style that does not go unnoticed. Couples are also allowed to exchange personal wedding vows if they so choose.
There are also a number of different kinds of Jewish weddings from orthodox, to conservative to the reformed Jews. All of these groups might have a slightly different way of celebrating their wedding day. Many orthodox and conservative Jewish wedding ceremonies are held in Hebrew and, of course, in a synagogue. When exchanging your vows it is a good idea to make sure your guests know what is being said so consider handouts – especially for the part that involves the vows.
Jewish weddings are also made up of two parts. These include kiddushin and that is the betrothal ceremony and nissuin, which is the wedding ceremony. The betrothal ceremony usually includes the groom giving his bride a ring. In the actual wedding ceremony the concentration is on the seven blessings for the couple. This celebrates the two people getting married and thanking God for the union.
Tip: Muslim Wedding Vows
Muslim marriages are often still arranged by the parents and the vows reflect this as well. The religion actually believes that the foundation of society is based on marriage. Muslim marriage ceremonies can last to four to seven days, and during this time many rituals are celebrated.
Normally, the traditional Muslim ceremony will have the officiant discussing with the bride and groom what marriage means and then the bride and groom give their consent for marriage. This is not the formal part of the exchanging of the vows. However, after both bride and groom give their consent then the traditional exchange begins. The typical wording includes the bride saying, "I (name), offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Koran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife." The groom then says, "I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband." The Koran goes over the importance of marriage for all Muslims and says, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts."
Tip: Permission to Write Your Own Vows
Keep in mind when you think about writing wedding vows, whether you plan on writing the words yourself or borrowing them from your religious tradition, your church will often have a say in what words you can exchange. Making the choice to change the wording in some religious vows is not acceptable. This is due, in part, to the fact that religion really does have a huge role in the marriage ceremony and it always will be a main focus for many brides and grooms getting married.
Some officiants do not want to deviate from the church’s traditional vows so be sure and ask your clergy his thoughts on the matter before you begin to write your own vows. Also think about the clergy who will perform your ceremony. If the person does not have the same general ideas and beliefs as you and your spouse then you should continue to look for the right person.
It is very important that the wedding vows exchanged between you and your spouse match your personality, your feelings and your beliefs in one another and your new life together. You would not settle on the church, the reception or anything else regarding your ceremony so do not settle on an officiant and his particular vows either, unless they truly match your own.
Tip: Personal Wedding Vows Are Often More Meaningful
When a bride and groom choose to write and say their own wedding vows the ceremony is much more meaningful. If you do decide to write your own vows, the time you take to craft these words of love will be special not only to you and your future spouse, but also to those in attendance.
Oftentimes, couples incorporate their personalities into the wedding vows and this can include adding a favorite poem or song. Keep in mind when writing your vows that while your wedding should be serious and focused during the ceremony, it is also important to have a good time. Take a moment to express yourself through your vows, and take in the moment together as one of the happiest days of your life.
Tip: Secular Wedding Vows
Secular weddings take place when neither the bride or groom are particularly religious. Vows that are most often used in secular weddings center more on the couple’s faith in one another, however it is not uncommon for some religious vows to be a part of the ceremony.
One sample of secular wedding vows might be, "I (name), take you (name), to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you and only you, to love and trust and honor you. I will share your sorrows and shoulder your sorrows, be a calming presence in your life for both the good times and the bad."
Sometimes secular vows concentrate on the couple talking about marrying their best friend with the wedding allowing them to make a promise to one another in the presence of loved ones. Many secular weddings do include the some traditional vows from the Episcopal Church’s Book of Common Prayer. Whatever the vows, secular ceremonies tend to be quite simple. While the ceremony certainly can offer traditional rituals like in religious ceremonies, brides and grooms are not always interested in tradition. In this case the couple has the freedom to do as they would like and exchange whatever vows they right and see fit for their big day.
Tip: Wedding Vow Renewals
Deciding to renew your wedding vows can be a beautiful thing. When two people who have been married for quite a long time say “I do” again it means not only that they still love one another, but that they still believe in everything they did years ago on the first time around.
Some people take their old wedding vows and add to them with thoughts about all the changes they have encountered since they first got marriage and how they have endured to come out even stronger. If you have children you might also want to include them in your renewal ceremony as this is certainly a most special moment for them since it allows them to know that their parents still love each other today as they did so many years ago.
There are many ways you can decide to renew your wedding vows, such as writing your own vows this time around. It doesn’t really matter when you decide to renew your vows either, be it after the first year, the 10th year of even your 50th. There certainly is not a right time to say that you love your life partner all over again.
Tip: Wedding Vows are the Foundation of Your Marriage
The words that you and your spouse choose to use in your wedding vows serve as a foundation for the future of your life together. No wonder wedding vows are so important! When creating your wedding vows, think about what you are about to share and give with the person you are about to spend your life with. While it is quite overwhelming, it is also a beautiful moment when you and your spouse say your vows to each other and think about what you are willing to do for the most special person in your life.
Wedding vows should touch your soul. Through your wedding ceremony and vows, you are letting go of the individual and becoming a team. You are a couple that will always be there for one another. Think about this commitment when you look at your spouse and begin to write your wedding vows.
Tip: Wedding Vows in Eastern Religions
There are several eastern religions that celebrate particular styles of wedding ceremonies and vows, the most popular being Hinduism and Buddhism. Hindu weddings are often festive and colorful affairs and the actual wedding can last up to three hours. The wedding vow ritual is called Saptapadi, meaning "the seven steps." In this particular ceremony the couple holds hands and takes seven steps around a fire. As each step is taken the bride, the groom or the officiant put forward seven special blessings for the marriage. One example of the blessing is, "Let us take this first step vowing to keep a pure household, avoiding things that might harm us." The seventh step might end like "Let us take this seventh step to vow that we will always remain true companions and lifelong partners."
Buddhism wedding ceremonies are considered more secular since there is no particular religious implication. In fact, there is not one traditional Buddhist ceremony for a wedding, but rituals such as the lighting of incense and offerings to Buddha are always a part of the exchanging of the vows. In a Buddhist wedding ceremony vows from the Buddhist guide for the domestic and social life of a layman is usually used and this book is called the Sigalovada Sutta.
Tip: What the Wedding Vows Mean to You
Writing your own wedding vows can be a nerve-wracking experience even for the most confident of individuals. Will you write them down and read them? Will you memorize the vows? Will these be said in conjunction with more traditional vows or will you and your spouses wedding vows ideas be the only ones used during the entire ceremony? Determine if the vows you want to recite at your ceremony will be acceptable in the place you are getting married. Some churches and clergymen have very strict rules on what can and can’t be done. Before you really sit down to work out your vows decide if you want to do this separate or with your spouse and/or if you want to write and work on the vows together.
Think about your past and your future and what you have done as a couple, where you have been and where you are going. What special moments did you share together and what about your first kiss? All of these things will play deeply on your wedding vows and the words you choose to say to one another in front of your family and friends. Think about what marriage means to you and what you expect from your future partner and, what s/he can expect from you.
Tip: What Wedding Vows Mean to You
Webster’s dictionary defines the word "vow" as meaning a solemn promise by which a person is bound to an act or service with another person. When thinking about your own personal wedding vows take the time to think about what this definition means to you.
We’ve come along way with respect to marriage these days. Generations ago, a marriage partner was chosen for you and therefore special vows would not have been a consideration. Most marriages in the past were based on economic reasons and never related to love and romance. A dowry was the most appealing thing a woman had to offer to the man she would marry, not her undying love. That is why today, exchanging wedding vows with you betrothed is a very special occasion. Not only do you get to choose who you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, but you get to let your love know how you feel in front of God and man.
Make sure you think about that when exchanging your vows no matter if you wrote them or if they are standard vows that have been designed for you.
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